This is the second of six exercises that pertains specifically to Psyche’s four tasks as published in Love and Soul-Making: Searching the Depths of Romantic Love (Shelby, 2022, Chiron Publications).

For a recap on the introduction to the story of Psyche and Eros and the first impossible task, see the blog from September: “Psyche’s First Task Exercises.” As a reminder, we can read myth as symbolic and dream-like, which informs us more of what the individual’s psyche (from the word psychology, meaning soul) is communicating to us and through us. Because myth is universal—it comes from the collective unconscious—it can be amplified and helps us understand a consistent archetypal pattern that may be influencing us. We can interpret it both at the personal level and at the collective level.

Let’s recap up to the second task demanded of Psyche by Aphrodite. Firstly, Psyche has enjoyed the state of blissful falling in love with Eros, the heady intoxication. This is followed by her doubts creeping in as the psychological sisters convince her to “get to know” the hideous monster who is her husband. She eventually succumbs to her curiosity and shines the lamp light of consciousness on her beloved—in doing so, she “betrays” him and he flees. In order for her to win back Eros, she eventually goes to Aphrodite and pleads with her. Aphrodite, still hoping to destroy the wretched Psyche, gives her the first of the impossible tasks: to sort a pile of grains before dawn under penalty of death. The industrious, chthonic ants come to her aid and sort and order the heap, completing the task. (See the blog “Psyche’s First Task Exercises,” Shelby, 2022). We pick up the story from here.

Psyche goes back to Aphrodite, who is furious and creates a second impossible task: to collect the wool from very aggressive, dangerous mountain sheep or rams, which is impossible because if she is seen by them, they will ram her to death. Again, she feels hopeless and considers just killing herself. This time, a divinely-inspired reed gives Psyche instructions on how to gather the wool: “When their rage is calmed and their attention is relaxed, shake the branches of the nearby trees” (para. 13). She is to do this at dusk, after the inflammatory heat of the day has subsided. And she is not to take it from the sheep directly. Thus, Psyche manages to complete the second task, again with the intervention of a natural figure. (Shelby, 2022, p. 14)

Here we engage in experiential learning of the second of the four impossible tasks assigned to Psyche by Aphrodite. The task: to collect wool from dangerous, fierce mountain sheep before nightfall. As Psyche is about to throw herself off the river’s edge, the reeds speak to her and give her advice to complete the task. She is told not to go directly to the rams and take the fleece by force. Instead, she is to collect it at dusk, from the low brambles, and avoid the detection of the rams. She can only approach these aggressive beasts indirectly.

The rams are representative of raw, instinctual aggression—a masculine energy and power that, if taken on directly, will overtake the conscious personality and go on a rampage of destruction. The Rams are representative of a masculine-dominated culture. The rams are the negative aspect of patriarchy: dominating and aggressive. Psyche is aided by the reed that is of the earth and also connected to the water of the depths; it has a graceful, soft movement, and dainty song-birds can be heard from the tops of the rushes.

The reed is contrary to the ram’s energy. It was in the reeds that I first spotted the lone swan as well! The wisdom of the reeds, urging Psyche to be patient and indirect, proves superior to the rage and killing of the out-of-balance patriarchal principle. The reeds represent a softer, intuitive wisdom that can tell Psyche how to see in the dark without being seen. The reeds convey divine wisdom and, to hear it from the unconscious, like the ants, we must be very quiet. The instinct of truth is a whisper within the human psyche. Reeds are found in wetlands, in a liminal space between terra firma and water. They exist in a transitional zone between earth and water, representing a knowing that is both/and rather than either/or; they are paradoxical. The wisdom they share comes from the space between, where things are hazy, just as they advise Psyche to venture out during the hazy light, the medial light between night and day. Reeds are also associated with music in reed instruments like the flute. In Greek mythology, Pan kissed the reeds (while pursuing a nymph) and discovered that his breath could create sounds. While there is probably another layer that could be unpacked with the association to Pan, I’ll stay with the reeds as they are present in the tale—Pan is perhaps implicit. One of my favorite summertime songs comes from the red-winged blackbird as they call back and forth to each other from the reeds. The reeds themselves, with their feathery tops, appear to dance and sway to their music. Reeds have an unassuming elegance compared to the ram’s aggression that makes them just right to aid Psyche.

Psyche takes the reed’s advice and thus solves the problem in a peaceful way that does not harm either the rams or herself. It challenges the modern notion of power and even abundance. Power is not to be gained by wrenching out a handful of fleece from the back of the ram and going off in triumph, nor is it appropriate to hoard excess fleece. Enough fleece collected in the right way is what is required. It is a good rule to take only as much as one needs and as quietly as possible. To not take enough power is to remain dominated by the internal enculturated, colonizing voices, but to over-do it can quickly become abusive and leave behind wreckage—an over-reaction that still proves the dominance of the old ghosts of the past, upholding the over-culture. Psyche’s way is quiet, gentle, and does not cause harm.

Through this task, I am invited to find my writing voice, the one that is softer, metaphorical, and gentler than forceful, too solar, and too much. I wonder about the fate of the “marketing” of the book, and I am hoping that the process can remain soulful rather than aggressive—contributing to a scarcity mindset. There is wisdom in this task: to go gently along the edges in dim light. I can feel that is the way this book wants to be marketed. But, what will that look like in practical terms of helping this girl-child born of the pregnant man find her way into the world? I trust I’ll be shown.

As another anecdote on ram energy and marketing, a few years ago, I was invited to contribute a chapter to an anthology on a topic I had written about in Tracking the Wild Woman. The topic was “feminine feminism.” It is a topic I like, since at this stage in my life I feel grounded in my femininity, and I consider my views feminist in-as-much as I am an advocate for equity and diversity. I didn’t always feel grounded in my femininity. That came after my personal midlife crisis, which was also my midlife awakening to that which is greater, which also meant awakening to a previously unconscious relationship to the feminine principle, or soul. To be clear, that awakening process took years, maybe a decade. It wasn’t quick.

Also, a note on equity and diversity: equity helps those with less privilege share their perspective, experience, and wisdom with the world. As a Canadian, I feel very fortunate, but I also see that women continue to struggle to achieve equal (rather than equitable) recognition to our white, male counterparts. In other words, to get to the same equal place as white males, women still have to bear more responsibility and it takes greater effort. Again, and I cannot say this enough, the problem is not our white male counterparts, it is our social, economic, and political structures that were built to favour men, and it can be changed only through changing ourselves because we are those structures. Patriarchal systems and institutions are made up of individuals, and as individuals live in personal integrity, the systems change. Individually, we each have to liberate our psyches from the oppression of the unconscious and autonomous over-culture that has colonized the psyche.

So, back to my essay on feminine feminism. The editor of the anthology had a brilliant marketing idea in the spirit of collaboration and “many-hands-make-light-work,” whereby each author would be contributing to disseminating awareness of the book through their networks and social channels. I’m a big fan of collaboration, and this model of marketing appealed to me. However, once we began the editing process of my chapter, it became clear to me that the editor didn’t really understand my view on feminine feminism and it seemed they were trying to direct the essay to a tone of anger, aggression, and blame towards men. We went back and forth, and I explained my position—that I did not want to contribute to further divisiveness in the world or hostility towards men. The end result was that I felt I couldn’t do more, and so I withdrew from the anthology. The editor, whom I believe was well-intended, exuded ram energy that felt out of integrity for me. To continue pushing myself to work with the editor, along with all my other responsibilities, was to enact the ram energy within. Retrospectively, I can see my approach was more like Psyche’s: indirect and alongside the pasture, collecting the wool from the brambles. I am not sure if the anthology was ever published.

While I am subversive to the dominant culture, one of the lessons we learn from this task is that such work can be done quietly and through the side-door, so-to-speak, alongside the pasture. Academic institutions, corporations, political and judicial structures, etc. that advocate for change and support diverse perspectives are transforming from the inside out, which is going along side of the pasture to collect the wool. If we challenge these entrenched institutions head-on, we can expect to be met with a battering ram. Some people are cut out for that, but maybe it is time for a gentler, kinder way.

Reflection Questions

I suggest you meditate and journal on these questions then ideally share your thoughts with a trusted friend or therapist who can hear and witness you; without being harmful or critical. Give yourself a quiet time and place to reflect on these questions. Of course, the therapists at www.onlinedepththerapy.com would be happy to support you in your explorations.

Where in your life do you experience this quiet energy?

Where in your life can you be gentler?

What task might you approach indirectly or through the side door?

What is your relationship to power?

How much power (wool) is enough for you to achieve your purpose?

What does it mean to go at dusk versus the heat and light of day?

Where might you be softer with your consciousness?

How can you avoid facing the ram directly?

Where does that apply to your life?

I hope you will contemplate the rams, wool, power, and the reeds and meditate on how they are able to assist you in sorting out your life on both the inner and external levels.